PISSED...

The mad dog in my house is barking incessantly again and I need to do my journals in peace. What she didn't realise is her mindless rantings can actually reverberate around the surrounding flats, especially in the dead of the night. The neighbours must be cursing and swearing. Maybe I'll make a poster with a caption below her picture: "Willing to put up for adoption. Easy maintainence as long as there is food and a TV set." Then, at the bottom of the poster is the disclaimer: "Prone to occasional fits - buyer to bear all responsibilities. No refunds included" and paste it near the lift lobby for any kind souls willing to do some charity and relieve me of my misery. *Barking in the background again...* *Takes a deep breath* I shall refrain from blowing my top... must tahan...

ONE PROJECT DOWN!!! ONE PROJECT DOWN!!! *MEDIC!!!*

Yeah, just finished my 5,000 word international marketing report in the school lab... don't you just hate editing? and the perfectionist in you? didn't manage to attend the last marketing lecture of my entire life (I hope...) and they were doing a recap of the module and going through exam tips. Nevermind, I can get them from my classmates later. Hehe...

My ankle injury is getting worse, I think. It is not helped by the fact I still went ahead to play soccer and night jogs have taken its toll. Its been hanging there for about a week and a half and despite a trip down to the chinese sinseh, it still hasn't healed one bit. I'm beginning to seriously doubt the ability of the shiatsu technique the baldy ah pek at bedok reservoir is famed for. Now my ankle has a sickening clicking sound when I try to bend it to my left. o_O"

Tonight, I'm gonna go for the more trusted orthodox style - the merciless and brutal grinding of my ankle and my feet. Yeah, pain... I like... haha...

RUNNING EMPTY

It has been a really tiring week gone past. A rushed project that culminated in me forgoing sunday soccer and a marketing presentation that just ended today. Finally can catch my breath? For now yeah, but come the next few days I'm gonna have to pick up the pace again. What's new? Another fresh new round of assignment deadlines. This time round it includes a whooping 5,000 words report on international marketing. Kickass...

To look on the bright side of things, more work is good. Work numb the senses. Jogging numb the senses. Soccer with my buddies numb the senses. Burning rubber down the highway numb the senses. Emotional therapy the way I like it. I have kinda gotten hooked on it already. Call me an escapist even houdini would be proud of. And I'm loving every minute of it, or am I not? At least it helps me forget what a heartache really feels like... for the first time.

Don't be mistaken though. I'm not feeling sore. I'm just ruing over what could have been a dream come true, at least that's what I see. I really thought the long search is over, that I had found THE one, someone whom you know you just have an instant connection to. Potential soulmate, IF there is ever one. I tried in my own little ways to prove myself even though I knew the odds are stacked firmly against me. I also happen to know that it takes 2 hands to clap. But I just had to do it. Life is too short for regrets. I would kick myself in the teeth hard if I let this chance go begging past. I'd swear even if I were to do it over again, I would gladly go through everything without whine or whimper.

Going to school and putting on a false front is hard. But I can handle it. Oscars should give me an award.

Great Expectations

Had lunch with only lye heng after soccer today *finally! after 2 weeks of no soccer on sundays!!!* cos' the other guys have to rush off to do their own stuffs. After that, we chatted for more than 3 hours under the cooling mist fan of S-11 foodcourt in bedok. To think in many ways, we share quite similar experiences in certain areas of our lives. The heartache, the immense pain and endless torturous nights when someone is taken away right before your very eyes... why this? why that? what did I do wrong?... who can comprehend? Sometimes, it really takes an outsider to bring everything into perspective, and as much as I want to see things in the most positive light I possibly can, sometimes things aren't really that rosy after all? I'm really confused big time...

In life, the greater the expectation, the bigger the disappointment... Nothing can hurt more than the truth... Moral of the story: Better luck next time buddy? Arrgghh...

RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD...

I declare that I love the gloomy feel and pit-pattering of raindrops that comes with the dark skies - always a good time to do some self reflection... I was getting ready to leave for school this morning when it started to rain again. So I decided to stay put at home for a few rounds of Gunbound while I wait for the showers to pass by... hahaha... me is still THE gunbound addict... it's a pretty darn good game to play if you have time to kill...

And yeah, more blogs to keep you guys busy while you're here... I've just added a new one to the fellowship - my school mate charlene's... and also uploaded more pictures at imagestation... haha... that's all for now... back to the dreaded BGGC journals... booyakasha!!! *tries to act like Ali-G and a funny hand gesture to boot*

THE WEEK GONE BY...

Finally got done and over with the marketing test after the last few days of intense studying. Not as tough as initially thought cos' there's quite a few repeat questions... haha... yeah nice!

Just to recap on the week past. Was walking around TM on saturday after tuition and I decided to walk into the addidas shop to look look see see. To my pleasant surprise, the wind-breaker I've been searching high and low for has miraculously re-appeared on the shelves!!! Wahh... mai tu liao I thought... cos' my buddies had initially wanted to get that for my birthday one, but they couldn't find it cos' outta stock already. Now that the chance had presented itself, I didn't hesitate any longer... but I don't have ready cash from the ang pow money they gave me for the birthday present... So I asked the salesgirl how many pieces did she have left in case people buy the last piece. She said 3, so it's alright with me. I'll come back later at night to get it.

And yeah it was still there. Hahaha... very happy... but then again I went home and look at my (also black color, almost same pattern) nike windbreaker... eh? how come look quite identical huh?! haha... don't ask me why... but I really like the adidas windbreaker lah. I just had to buy, but won't be wearing anytime soon I guess...

Sunday no soccer again...2 weeks in a row... ever since the monkey boy left for germany... seems like very hard to find people to play... my side people (the regulars) still as on, but seems like the peeps from yewjin's side have lost the passion for soccer. Don't know what's up with them...

Something to share... my auntie (mum's sister) from malaysia comes a visiting over the weekend. I asked mum why the unexpected visit again since it was only last month when she had to come over for my cousin's wedding dinner. Only then did I realise the fragility of human relationships after hearing what she had to say. Ever since the death of my other aunt(the youngest sister) last year, they've been pondering a lot on life - the unpredictability of it all and how they are going to spend time catching up with each other. Who knows what tomorrow might bring? Life is but a fleeting moment they say... it can't get anymore true.

Like what happened to my aunt who passed away so suddenly... I guess they kinda got busy with their own lives to really care and bother about how each of them are getting on respectively. It was the unexpected death that jolt them out of it, and made them wanna cherish whatever time they can afford for each other. To make up for lost time, I guess. People don't really feel the pinch until they experienced the loss for themselves, be it in relationships, or between friends, between siblings, or towards your parents. It's human nature afterall. But can we change it? Sure we can, albeit in tiny baby steps. Take the chance to show someone that you love them and that you care for them, cos I can assure you that you won't regret it. Love reciprocates... or not? I really don't know... my life's mantra is always to give more than I receive... but can I say I'm content with the way things are right now? I don't really have an answer to that...

BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU IN PAIRS

Tell me, where got parking attendant so bian tai 1:01 am in the morning go check vehicles one? That is what happened to me man... some crazy dude/dudette chit zhar puay geng jiak pah bo sai pang go fine me for not putting season parking!!! fine of $8 leh!!! Actually not a lot lah, considering the sum I saved by not purchasing seasonal parking coupon for $17.50 a month. That means I cannot get caught for more than 2 times in a month or else bo hua already, which hasn't happened to me yet... cos this is only the 3rd time in 4 months... haha... you do your maths.

Yesterday night went to jog for the first time in 2 weeks. Nearly died from exhaustion. Incessant binging on chinese new year goodies have taken a toll on me. My body feels very sluggish, don't wanna shift into overdrive as I force myself to run at a more punishing pace. After a while, I gave up and began to jog at a slow pace, not helped by the fact that I had kimchi noodles for dinner. haha... My stomach was churning uncomfortably, somemore got stitch. Aye, forget it man.

IS BEING YANDAO RIDING A UBERCOOL BIKE A CRIME???!

What the *beep*??! I was returning home after dinner at Long Beach @ East Coast to celebrate my mommy's (and mine) birthday. The traffic was smooth sailing, no interruptions or any kind when I stopped at this particular T-Junction preparing to turn right into my place. Then as the light turned green in my favour, I, as per normal, proceed to inch out. Suddenly, this camera situated at the junction began snapping happily 7 or 8 times at me. I was like: "What the hell did I do??!" I looked left, I looked right, I looked up and I looked down. I didn't know if there is any particular traffic offence I've committed, unless they changed the rule book suddenly lah. I looked behind me and I realise that all the cars don't dare to move out into the right turn pocket. Yah lah expected one what, after what they saw the camera did to the yandao kia with the $280 helmet and the kickass gloves riding the flashy lightning blue phantom. (-_-") Wah liew I tell you huh... if they really shoot summon at me, I sure complain ah!!! abc kiam chye char loh tee... $#&$*(@#!!(*^!@... anyhow shoot people one!! neh neh!!!! *Grrr*

(Oops, before I forget... Happy birthday mum!!! love ya *muacks* wah liew err xin... hahaha =P)

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME? =(

Got caught in the blardy rain today as I was going for tuition. Wanted to continue along the expressway till there's no rain cos' the skies over at the east side don't look so gloomy to me. I was dead wrong. I finally decided to take shelter under the flyover near lornie road exit. Was contemplating staying there for a while longer but the skies doesn't look like its gonna clear up anytime soon, and so I had to put on my rainjacket and brave the elements. Cos' my stylo milo nike jacket cannot make the cut. Nice to look at and that's all to it. Hahaha... eh wait, the nike jacket is a windbreaker right? Ooohh... now I see... hahaha... I'm so sorry mr. nike windbreaker...

It hasn't exactly been the nicest of past few days. Yesterday, I lost in the semis and in the 3rd/4th placing of the soccer tournament. I thought I played a great game and gave it my all. Most telling moment was when I stole the ball from midfield and dribbled down the flank before squaring for Wyi Teck to blast home the equaliser against one of the strongest team in our group. Man, I was ecstatic. The crowd outside the pitch was screaming with approval. I punched my fist in the air and rallied on my teammates. I thought we were destined to win back the title which we so reluctantly relinquish last semester because of unforeseen circumstances. But I was to be disappointed in the end, and also with the commitment of a few in my team. But no name blaming here. Maybe they were really lethargic, but I really cannot see the passion... the fire... the desire to win since this was our last chance of winning the title again before graduation. Ah wells, you win some you lose some... you can't have everything go your way everytime. Not even as a perfect birthday present to me on that day.

Speaking of which, I would like to thank everyone who still remembered it was my birthday yesterday on the 17th. In no particular order, they're angeline (thanks for the bath brush... very shiok haha!), wyi teck (I ain't no white chick dude!), weisen (yeah my bday's the same as michael jordan's!), wynnie, liumin, s, alex (not anytime soon dude... =\ ), magdelene (I'm not... ok!!!), james, pamela, kwansiang, lam and my best buds: chink egg, doong, bob, jizheng, heng, ah hui... hmm did I leave anyone out? No right? If I did, my sincerest apologies ok?

Oh yah yesterday after soccer I pia-ed down from west end of singapore (NTU) to east end (Changi Airport), across the entire stretch of PIE just to send my 14 yr old friend off to germany, albeit for less than 6 months only. hahaha... red carpet treatment man... neh neh!! on my birthday somemore! I dragged my weary body and sacrifice going out just to send him off... haha... good friend huh... =P The bugger didn't cry as he had initially said, but I succeeded in making huili cry when the bunch of us saw the plane took off from the viewing gallery. Hahaha... wicked aiightt... my rendition of jacky cheung's "祝福" was moving enough for her to shed a few tears... am I evil or what?

THE AFTERMATH

Howdy!

Finally had time to update my blog after days of slogging through the dreaded MS assignment. So let's start with valentine's shall we? hmm... this year was lonelier than previous years because all my buddies were out with their girlfriends while I'm the only one still without any companion except for my MS journal articles on that day. Now, I'm not saying I should have a girlfriend for the sake of not spending valentine's alone but what I'm trying to say is, it just doesn't feel quite right with happy couples on the streets basking in the glow of love while I walk past them nonchalantly wondering the why-this and the why-thats, oblivious to the atmosphere that is getting all too comercialised for anyone's liking.

Sometimes I wish that life could be much more simpler than what it is often made out to be. Sighh... *shrugs shoulder* At least there's work to keep me busy, so instead of heading home after school, I decided to go somewhere nice and quiet to work on my journals, and do some self-reflection... Changi Airport to be exact. Please don't call me a loser though, I just need to occupy my mind with something... anything in fact... and also to do my work in peace. Numb the senses I say. I'm not running away from anything because you might think I loathe the sight of happy couples so much I want to break them up. Far from being the pyschopath you think I am, I just wanna do something constructive rather than sit at home and whine. Now, THAT is what I call a loser.

On the weekend that just past, we had a big bbq party at jz's house. It was to combine 3 occasions - doong's birthday, my birthday and malau's impending overseas study trip to germany. Convenient lah... then somemore save costs to treat individually... haha... The usual food was there, chicken wings, sausages, prawns... you name it, we've got it... had a ball of a time, and finally ended with a bang when we threw malau into the pool and stripped him bare. The other guys all sportingly follow suit to get kicked into the pool one by one, pity not all the girls though... haha... After which we went to parrttaaay at zouk. I didn't get a chance to test my advance bloodline limit... err I mean alchohol limit that night, *shiit! too much naruto* because I had to drive the guys around who had too much to drink. Was supposed to fetch them home one by one but decided to wait till 5am before the coast is clear and with malau sober enough to take charge behind the wheel. Finally got back home at 0530am... totally exhausted...

On another note, malau's leaving for germany tomorrow. Will be going to see him off at the airport in the evening after I'm done with my soccer tournament at NTU. Sunday soccer just ain't gonna be the same without him... haiii... and I shall see if he will really cry at the airport tomorrow... hahaha... thou lily livered boy...

GONG XI FA CAI !!! LONG ZHONG HUAT AH !!!

Here comes the time of the year again... nibbling on bak kwas, love letters, pineapple tarts and basically everything that you can lay your hands on. And of course, the people. Ah yes, poor you will be subjected to endless rounds of interrogation by kaypoh aunties and uncles probing into your otherwise private life. Not that asking is a crime, but asking too much for my own good, or asking for the sake of asking gets me very much on my nerves. Haha... being the shy me, I acted in my own diplomatic way to skillfully evade whatever 'sensitive' questions that were thrown at me ala the matrix. And then, they would pepper me with praises like: "wahh... ah kiat chin kwai ah.." or "wahhh... ah kiat lang chin ho ah..." and I'll be like: "what the..." (-__-") Not that they are telling lies, but still I will be very paiseh one mah... haha! Ehh, Auntie/Uncle 杀手不是浪得虚名 one ok? hahaha...

Anyway, woke up super late at noon on the first day of chinese new year because have been out with S to chinatown the night before to 'kweh sio' with people... hehe... C'mon, everybody shout 'SIO TSUI AH!' The place was crammed beyond imagination. To say packed like sardines is an understatement really. The last time I went there during cny was dunno how many years ago and it certainly was quite an experience, even though I don't really like squeezing with people. Ehhh... sometimes you have to squeeze with people to get into the festive mood right? haha... Didn't met anyone familiar except for my tuition kid with his family in tow, had a few exchanges before we went back into snaking our way through the throng of people.

The chinese new year this year was nothing new really. Eat, talk, played blackjack with my cousins, watch tv... blah blah blah... it just goes on and on. But one thing's new though, scanning through business database in search of articles to finish up my journal reports instead of nua-ing at my ah ma's house or going out with my friends. Sad way to start the new year eh? hahaha... bo pian leh... assignment deadline coming up on the 16th feb... what to do? =(

And yeah, the ang pow money this year considered not too bad by my standards, cos' got one very big hearted relative gave me $80 but I dunno who... I must be doing something right here... cos my good-for-nothing sister got the usual amount of money in her ang pows... ha-ha! Serves her right! O' praise the heavens above! You do know how to tell between the good(me), the bad(my sister) and the ugly(my sister... again!).

Once again, here's wishing you all a happy chinese new year! and may everyone *HUAT AH!* in the year of the rooster!!! my year!!! haha...

REUNION DINNER 2005


(From left: Me No.2, Edmund No.3 and Edwin No.1)

Photo taken at the reunion dinner with my cousins who share the same surname KHOO (邱) as me. Never had the chance to take a picture together because I thought it would be quite paiseh... its like suddenly you ask someone to take photo all of a sudden like not very nice like that... no? Err... whats with me man? we're cousins what! why paiseh this paiseh that? Ahhh, thats just me I guess... don't wanna impose on other people... Oh yeah as you can see I never waxed my hair and never shaved also, I thought I looked kinda rugged and cool... hahaha...

Anyway if you noticed their names start with "Ed" one right? Before you ask me why I didn't get a name like theirs too, let me just say I don't know and I don't really want one... I'm very comfortable in my own name which I think is named very appropriately. (Read: THE outstanding one) haha... And let's not not forget my alter ego, that's right... KENNY!!! haha... I still remembered the guffaws from my classmates when I asked the ang moh tutor to call me Kenny instead. Oh yeah the name from that incident is stuck with me now, in school at least. haha...

A little bit of history behind the name Kenny... it actually originated from my obsession with southpark and I started using it first way before that melbourne episode during my waitering job. It started out because I wanted a convenient name everyone can call me by and since all my initials start with the letter 'K' so Kenny was the first name that came to my mind. KKKK = 4K what... cool right? (-_-") And then Malau came to work with me for a while and I was introduced as 'Kenny' to him. Damn man it was funny shit, I saw his face kenna stunned for a while before breaking out into uncontrollable bursts of laughter. Till today, he still scars me with the phrase he came up with: "Kenny! Give me one kilkenny!" Right... very funny...

THIS IS WHAT MAKES US MERE MORTALS...

I was reading back on the previous editions of the Straits Times which I missed out on because of school work when I chanced upon this article which got me really riled up. Yes, the age-old debate on religion and whether does God even exists at all. First and foremost, let me just clarify this: I am NOT an anti-christ, even though I admit I really came close to being one in the past because of the things I've heard and seen for myself. But as one matures, he/she will come to know that the acts of a few do not really represent that of the entire community. I would like to believe that ALL religions, regardless of the manner in which they were preached to mankind, are inherently well intentioned and serve to impart good moral values to people so that they can behave in a responsible manner towards themselves and the society at large.

Take this analogy for an example: As a student, you are given subjects to study in school. Now, it really does not matter which subject you favour upon because ultimately, whatever you decide to pursue further interest on later will eventually, help you become a more educated person in life. But do you feign ignorance and play down the insignificance of the other subjects just because it doesn't really interests or appeals to you? No, you don't. Every subject has a role to play in educating the student. Every subject is equally important to different people. Therefore, no one has a right to criticise others for their choice in the subjects just because they believe their chosen subject to study in school is far better than others. Flawed logic. Just because you never really take the time and effort to understand the subject doesn't mean that the subject is any less important. People have the free will to make choices, that is why "specialisation" of religions or subjects in this case, occurs.

Anyway, back to the topic of contention: "Why God 'allowed' deadly tsunami to strike" (ST, Jan 29). The writer wrote in to refute the claims made by previous authors who made comments lamenting the fact that God himself was not there for mankind when disaster struck, or why God didn't prevent the tragedy since he was omnipotent. It is perfectly fine to find fault with the man up above because we humans, being mere mortals, could not have a satisfactory answer to the events that were unfolding before our very eyes. That is what religion is for, to provide solace to believers that everything happens for a reason. And of course, from the scientific perspective, the tsunami is just mother nature's way of venting her fury and there is pretty much nothing we can do about it except for damage limitation.

But what I can't stand is the fact this particular writer goes on to string together a series of quotes from some Saint from donkey years ago to explain the misnomers that he felt did injustice to his religion. Rather than putting his money where his mouth is, I think he did a pretty good job of stuffing his foot in his mouth instead. Firstly, he should learn to respect other people's right to air their own views. Lest we forget, this writer is flesh and bones like we are. Just who is he to offer philosophical takes on the tragedy by quoting from teachings from 'sagely' saints? Before you ask me then what a pastor is for, yes... I know it sounds a bit contradictory and its like I'm shooting myself in the foot. But a (good) pastor preaches to those whom wishes to believe in the religion, not impose his views on others. Just imagine a total stranger barging into your management lecture and telling you what you've been studying so far is crap, totally irrevelant and he goes on to tell you how the subject should be taught according to him? How would you react? Screw him of course!!!

Secondly, I would want to say to him: Save the preachings for yourself. How would you like it if some misfortunate accident were to take away someone dear to you and turn your life into a living hell? Would you attribute it to the fact when you said " ... why God allows evil is that if He did not, then a lot of good would be lost"? I would bet my life on it that no amount of help would make you overcome the grief that is permanently etched in you, no matter how hard you try to forget. Let's not kid ourselves on that right?

Lastly, schism occurs in all religion: To my knowledge, Buddhism is branched off into 2 main school of thoughts: the Hinayana and the Mahayana. Islam into the Sunnis and the Shi'ites, as well as other forms ranging from the moderate to the extremist as preached by the Taliban government in Afghanistan. And of course Christianity also has its fair share of history which dates back to the time of the Crusades.

Schism in the modern context takes on a different role, but nonetheless impactful. For example in Singapore, you have the, put in a diplomatic term, 'charismatic' churches which have their own style of preaching as well as spreading the message to the masses. On the other hand, you also have churches that are not that 'charismatic' but still serves to advocate the religion in their own subtle, non-imposing ways. Truth be told, many a times overzealous believers have tried to pursuade friends or even accost total strangers on the streets to join their churches with the promise of "good food and making new friends". I'm like: "Hello?! Do I need to go to church just because I wanna eat good food or make new friends??" Is that the reason why people go to church for? What kind of message are they spreading? You mean like their church is some holiday chalet or what ah? No right? People go to church because they want to get in touch with their spiritual self what, no? You see, black sheeps like this are aplenty and something needs to be done before they deface the religion which they think they can seek sanctuary in.

Oh yeah, just you might want to know... I don't buy into the " If you don't believe in Jesus, you will burn in hell " thingy. Let's just say I donate a few hundred to charity organisations every month, perform regular volunteer works to help the less fortunate in less developed countries, engage in acts of kindness on an everyday basis like helping the blind to board the correct bus, BUT I do not believe in Jesus. How? do I still burn in hell just because of the very fact that I do not believe in Him?

And also, I do not seek eternal life, but rather eternal life comes knocking on my door when I have a lifetime of beautiful memories to look back on when I'm grey and old, gazing lovingly into my wife's tender eyes. I am only concerned about how I live my life as I can see right now - my family, my friends and the people close to me. I really care not if I burn in hell for eternity, just as long I treat the people in my life to the best of my abilities that underlies their significance in the roles they play in life's precious moments. While there is still room for improvement, its comforting to know that I did make the effort rather than other people who wait for things to happen in their entire lifetime. Tell me then, what's the point in living?

NEW SOCCER BOOTS!!!


Oh, introducing my new soccer boots... design very obiang but I guess comfort is just as, if not more important eh? Was looking around peninsular plaza but couldn't find me old adidas boots which I lurrrve to pieces and have served me well since mid-2002s (that's helluva looonngg time man! considering the fact I play soccer almost every sunday) and now it has got holes all over it, kinda like my face now... hahaha...

Anyway, hope to have the boots seasoned before the start of the inter-sem 6-a-side soccer tournament. Soccer wasn't that fun on sunday because we had to shift to a foreign court which was a jinxed place man, machiam people set 'gong tau' like that... so many people were injured on that day... Jz got hit in the nuts (*awww...* pain), Doong twisted his fat pudgy feet (*hahaha*), I got blisters from wearing ankle socks (what an idiot I am...) and comes the mother of all jokes, our dear malau came all the way from eunos only to realise he only brought along his left side of his soccer boots... champion, win already man... SUPER blur cock... unintelligent, stupidity personified, the epitome of sotongness... the list can go on and on and on... to think he's my 13 going into 14 year old friend from primary school... wah very paiseh leh... hahaha...

SPEAK OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR SILENCE!!!

Oh yeah, just added in a tag board to my blog. Whichever pyscho is out there stalking me through my blog can crap all they want there. Nobody's stopping you, unless you post comments cursing my 18 generations of ancestors then I shall have to do something about that yeah?

And I just realised... nobody's playing with bobby anymore... Why?? *muscle spasms* H... have you *eyes twitch* peeps grrr.... grown sick and tired orrff... him already?! *cracks neck*