Sunday, April 24, 2005

MY BLOOD IS BOILING and MY NERVES ARE BURSTING

Oh My F***ing God... how shallow and naive can people get. I'm LIVID. I really am. First of all, I have to apologize again. This post is about, what else, religion again. Gracie, I'm sorry I wanted to hold back because I know you are going through a rough patch recently but I just can't. I had to post it because it struck a personal raw nerve with me. Its not directed at you or anything so please take no offence.

I was reading her blog when I saw this comment left behind by this guy sean: "wah new blog! try to get over it..i know you luv him but he's not even a christian lor" (take note of the "lor") I personally bloody take offence at this statement; the nonchalantlessness of it all and the ease he brushes aside non-christians like ME and the majority of the human population on planet earth. Why? Because I was in the same situation as Gracie. I had grown to like this girl who was also a Christian. Did I know she was one before I started chasing her? YES. Did it discourage me from even trying? NO. Why? Because I have the conviction that the relationship will work out if YOU BELIEVED IN IT, no matter how hard it is. To say that religion will not come into the picture is to lie through the skin of my teeth. I admit, there WILL BE conflicts. But if 2 parties believed it can be overcome, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, just as long as you have the BELIEF. In fact, there ARE couples who have tied the knots despite the difference in the respective faiths they followed. How? For a simple reason: they WANT to make things work out and not be bound by the hands of religion. We are not slaves to religion and the reverse is true. As much as some people can argue that is not true, at least it is what I believed in. Religions are just avenues of reaching God, if there ever is one. Who cares what path you choose? As long you respect that your neighbour has every right to breathe the same air as you and you live life the way it befits a humane person. Obviously not the case for someone we know here. Sheesh...

He then goes on to finish off his words without batting an eyelid: "be sure to focus on what God would want u to have and be. u deserve more gracie." To me its like shooting at a dead man and then spitting on his lifeless face. HOW COULD ANYONE TAKE THIS LYING DOWN??! in particularly that last line: "u deserve more gracie." To me that's the ultimate insult any christian can tell me after "if you don't believe in christ, you can go to hell now. Yes I mean now. Start praying for your worthless wretched soul."

If God has eyes, I pray you will be the first to burn in hell. I think you deserve your place there more than anyone else. I really mean it. Go reflect your existence in life.

Friday, April 22, 2005

FOCUS! MY YOUNG PADAWAN... *Ooohhhmmmm*

The feeling now is just like when I was about to ORD. Don't feel like doing anything else except nua. Even though I stayed at home for the past week to study, I didn't really get into the mood. Most of the time I was just going through the motion. You can't really say I didn't study but somehow I studied in order to appease my conscience. Hahaha... But then again, its open book, how to study huh??! study what??! Feeling lost leh... so I just read anything I can get my hands on. And yeah, I pray the topics for BGGC is different and the format for MS totally koyak too, so that hardworking people who have prepared the 'answers' or the framework cannot score well, while on the other hand people like me can play on an equal field and use my 'smoking guns'... MUAHAHAHA... I am evil aiighht!

*Note: Damnit, I should have studied in school all along. No distractions from my comfy bed, gunbound and the endless animes on my hardisk. Today, I finished typing a list of pointers on a piece of paper to take to the exam hall. Hope its useful. Hahaha... Almost time to go home. Time to hit the road again on my shiny phantom!!! Wooo~

Monday, April 18, 2005

I WISH UPON A DEATH CHAIR

How does it feel like to pay $60 to sit on the death chair and have your teeth grinded mercilessly by the dentist? I swear I almost ripped out the leather cushion back then. And when the tube that was inserted to keep my mouth moisturized came loose, droplets of water spilled onto my spectacles. I can almost swear it was blood from my gums until I opened my eyes from that few minutes of trauma. >_< → o_O Phew?

Friday, April 15, 2005

RUN KIAT RUN!

Went to pay the installments for my bike after a whole day of studying. Yeah, 5 more installments to go before its all MINE. Then again, I'm looking to sell it off to finance my super 4. I saw this new model of cbr400 spec III on display at the motorshop. Same built as the super 4 but the headlights are different and LED backlights to boot, with a retro 80s sportsbike feel to it. Woahh... chio leh... *slurp slurp* I figured it would have cost me around $12k to get it first hand... so *POOF!* there you go...

Changed into my PT kit and went for a jog, the first time in 2 weeks. Damn it WAS a long time. No soccer on sundays also because all of us are having exams so that means no exercise at all. As I was doing my usual warmup routine, I contemplated doing the 7km Temasek poly route instead of around the neighbourhood since I haven't jog in a while. But taking into account of the sinful gastronomic pleasures I've had in the past few days, I decided to do my bulging stomach a favour. When I started, I can almost feel the entire weight of my body on my legs. But as I soldier on, it kinda got lighter... and easier for me. But now my legs 不听话, my heels especially, were aching like mad. By the end of the run, gone man... pain like hell... haha but woke up today much better...

Ehh... its getting late... gotta go study or else I cant keep up with my schedule... till then...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THESE...

8th April 2005. A milestone in our lives of being a student in pursuit of the elusive paper held in high regard by society. It is also the LAST lecture I've attended in my entire life. Today, everyone in class was chattier than usual, perhaps trying to mask the fact that we're all gonna miss the days of being together... of having tea breaks in between lectures, of having lunch in our smelly SIM foodcourt and of slogging for assignments in the computer labs on level 5. Some of us were trying to squeeze the most out of every minute spent in class together, for we know they don't come by ever again.

How I wish the lecture would never end and that moment would freeze in time forever, but I know as in life, all good things must come to an end, and people won't cherish the people they had around them until it was time to say goodbye - something I believe a lot of us are still trying to grapple with. And as I stepped out of the familiar lecture halls for the last time, I left with much regrets - of not taking the effort to really know other people, besides the occasional hi-bye.

Looking back at the semesters gone by, the last one was the best of all. Everyone was like one big happy family because the ties were strengthened from staying together during our trip to Melbourne. Almost everyone knew each other and coming to lectures and seeing the familiar faces was something to look forward to amidst the hustle and bustle of project deadlines. But all these happy days will be consigned to the containers of our memories forever.

Pictures and words are tangibles of what I have during my time in SIM. I shall do a recap of the wonderful 3 years I've spent there.

Semester 1:

Came into SIM at the lowest point in my life. Fresh out of army. Flunked my As. Retook my As again during NS and managed a CCD at the last attempt. Despite sending out yearly applications, I was rejected repeatedly and had nowhere to go whereas my peers all made it to local unis. I felt like shit then. Contemplated signing on with the army but dropped out during the medical evaluation phase because of my terrible eyesight. I came into SIM determined to make amends for my past failures, to concentrate solely on studies and not to make any friends. (naive... haha) This explains why I always look so aloof and unapproachable to people. Anyone looking too 'loud' and always trying to be in the centre of attention incurred my wrath and I scorn upon their every move... hahaha... actually I still do nowadays to the very same few people in my class... o_O oops? haha, like I give a damn...

Semester 2:

Started to realise you really can't do without friends in the course, especially when it comes to doing projects. Somehow in a way or another, you're being forced to socialise. And as much as you loath it, you have to do it. James or Dustin, I can't really remember, was the first few people I knew in the course. How? I don't know. We just got to know each other lah. And yeah, let me share with you all this classic conversation I had with James. Me and him were having a meal at megabites cafe when he suddenly said: "eh kah kiat, you free this sunday or not?" I replied: "why leh?" He followed: "Let me bring you to a very happening place" I was like: "Woah, zhun bo? happening arh? got chio bu one or not?" I then asked: "So... where's the place?" Without batting an eyelid, he said: "my church - city harvest" I nearly wanted to bash him up, hahaha no lah... but got 3 lines run down from the side of my face lah. -__-"" I kindly rejected him and told him my stand on religion. He backed down afterwards, never to mention anything about asking me to join him or anything. I totally respect him for that.

Semester 3:

Started to get to know more people, and the names of my classmates whom I thought never existed until that semester. Hahaha... mak was so sad the other day when I told him that. Result up to this point was consistently good by my standards but it dropped that semester because of the insane number of assignments. NUS finally offered me a place - in Building and Real Estate management that is. It puts me in a big dilemma - to go or not to go? All I wanted is to be the same as my peers and go into local unis. But 4 years in a course I barely knew? and not to mention the uncertainties involved? No way, too much risk. Decided to stay although I still feel a tinge of regret up till today. Got to know the 'anti-social' group - Alex, Zhiwei, Jasmine and Magdelene. Electic mix of personalities I say, as I found out later on... haha... things are not what they seem to be. The direct intake of people from the poly batch came in. *Strains neck to look for chiobus* don't have leh... sad... hahaha...

Semester 4:

Successfully infiltrated the anti-social group. Did projects with them, especially DPP where we had to do this research project on productivity issues for the company Barang Barang. We had to travel to woodlands every few days to visit the warehouse to do some onsite study. Near for some, not so for me... Bedok leh... Kenna the grade NN for a major assignment OSD for the first time ever. Totally shocked man, after all the effort we put in. Had a major conflict with this group mate of ours D. The impression he gave of others is that he only know how to criticize and not do any constructive work. Devil's advocate? Far from it. Anyway to be fair, he did contribute, though the things he did to piss me and the rest off outweigh the positives. But all is forgiven. No point harbouring hatred over such trivial matters. Just maintain a strictly platonic friendship. Finally won the intersem soccer tournament after reaching the semis for the past few semesters. A trophy to show for in my display cabinet. Haha... Started taking bike lessons at CDC.

Semester 5:

Really starting to enjoy coming for lectures and seeing the friendly faces. Plus, there's the melbourne trip to look forward to. So exciting. Been looking out for travel and accomodation costs to Australia while juggling schoolwork at the same time. Last semester was the final straw. Kicked out D for all of our projects for obvious reasons because we, or rather he couldn't get along well with the rest of us. Ah, you see? there's dirty politics involved in school too. Flew over to Melbourne after exams. Stayed with the clique I now associated myself with in this place called the Paramount which James got a lobang for us. Quality times there and wonderful memories. Attended classes for 2 weeks before me and James embarked on our trip to Sydney, Brisbane and Gold Coast on a budget travel. Had conflicts along the way on how things should be done and not to be done, but nothing couldn't be solved with a little bit of in-yer-face talks. I finally got my bike license!!! WOO~

Semester 6:

With bonds that are already strengthened from the stay in Australia, I started this semester in the anticipation of knowing more people that I haven't had the opportunity to do so. I broke off with my clique physically and went in search of new project mates. Got to know Charlene, Rachel, Mak and Ian, not forgetting my fellow phantom gina, Charles. hahaha... to think he's from the same secondary sch as me and we only got acquainted this semester. It's because I thought he was dao, and I also can't be bothered less. haha... apparently this guy was the same as me, just want to concentrate on studies and get it over and done with. Such a pity right? only last semester then know got such a colorful character around, gp b3 somemore hor? when I correct your english means you listen to me ok man? No arguing yah? wahahaha... Sadly, no more chance to do project with any of them already. Regret not knowing them earlier. Lastly, I don't know whether should I say this or not... knowing her has been the best part of my time in SIM, albeit for a few months only. I thought I've finally found her after a long wait. All those nights of chatting on msn till almost daybreak reinforces the fact that we really do get along well and is a sign of better things to come. I don't want to go into details what I did afterwards but all I wanna say is, I have no regrets. You win some, you lose some. Time to move on in life, no point making yourself miserable no matter how hard it is to face the truth.

To the friends whom have crossed path with me: Alex, Zhiwei, Jasmine, Magdelene, Shuhui, James, David, Charles, Charlene, Ian, Mak, Rachel, Wyi Teck, Dustin, Armi, Zhengyi, Zihe, Colleen, Chrisann, Hongkuan, Spencer, Mark Brown, Gary, Sean, Pamela... and others too many to mention. Memories are indeed made of these...

Sunday, April 03, 2005

HUMANITY TRANSCENDS RELIGION

This morning, I awoken to wyi teck's sms. It reads:"All italian sports competitions will be suspended in respect for Pope John Paul II, who is on e brink of death". Slightly dazed from my slumber, I almost wanted to mass forward to my soccer kakis whom I'm meeting for soccer later, asking them to postpone our weekly soccer bonding session to next week. Then, it hit me... you can almost see 3 lines dropping down from the side of my face (-_-"") haha... Oh wait, this doesn't make any sense... what business has it got to do with me?! he die die lar! I still want to play my soccer what! Okok, jokes aside... on to more serious things...

We're looking at the passing on of a man whom despite being the head of the Catholicism faith, shows no form of discrimination against any form of religion and is devout to spreading the message of peace, all the time emphasizing the importance of interreligious dialogue to strengthen understanding and peace in the chaotic world we live in today. In one of the articles I've read, it is said that the Pope is forever remembered as a man who tried to establish reconciliation and harmony that transcends religions, races, and political ideologies. This is what I call Resspect! *thumps chest*

Tell me honestly, just how many religious leaders in the world are able to do that? These advocates of religion are always trying to push their respective faiths as the supreme, the one and only, and would resort to ways and means to achieve their goals. Yes, violence is legitimate if the means justifies the end. Brainwashing... Ahh, yes... tell me all about it... what makes people abandon the most basic regard for other human beings breathing the same air as we do and living in this world we all call ours?

Oh yeah, you guys must be thinking: here we go again... putting down the christian community again Mr Khoo? Before people launch into tirades of verbal assault on me, I shall reaffirm my stand again for the benefit of those doubtful and my other christian friends as well. Me no bite people, me is no anti-christian, me is just very pissed off when people think of their religion as everything there is to life cos' I believe there is also something called respect. Simple to understand?

Anyway, back to the issue on religious supremacy (sounds like some big evil plan to take over the world... but it ain't far from the truth). Look no further beyond the shores of Singapore. We find pastors and believers of devious nature trying to spread false messages about the meaning of religion. Religion is, I say again, not about Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Catholicism nor Taoism... etc. It IS about H-U-M-A-N-I-T-Y and R-E-S-P-E-C-T for other people who are the SAME just like YOU AND ME... Religion should NEVER be about who is better and who is not. However, religion is about ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY LIVING TOGETHER... read: RELIGIOUS HARMONY

Taken from a website, this Singaporean Catholic woman said this: "For me personally as a Catholic, I would say that he is a hero, somebody whose championing of all human beings, regardless of race and creed, has deepened my own faith in the goodness of man, in the potential we have as human beings." Finally, someone just made a whole lot of sense. How I wish there were more of such people around us and not think that someone is any less deserving just because he/she's not of the same faith as him/her.

Also quoted in the website, the Pope once said that his position was not about power and prestige; instead he wanted to be known as a friend and a servant of humanity. Oh yeah, try telling that to the misguided ones in the infamous churches around Singapore. I'm not naming any names, but its not hard to figure out either. One of these days, I just wanna step into one of these churches to have a look for myself. Maybe I won't get out alive, hard to say... haha... either way, it's gonna be an eye opener.