BANDWAGON-ERS!!!

Went to shop for a pair of soccer boots today.

Chink egg can't get himself a decent pair just because the world cup is just around the corner. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn't find a pair that has his size. I seriously believe almost all singapore males have recently bought a pair of soccer boots. Yes, from young skinny pimply teenagers to fat uncles with bulging beer bellies, everyone somehow just wants to get into the mood and I bet most can't kick for nuts, and the last time they ever kicked a ball was light years ago. So that explains why chink egg has to leave the place with hands empty and very disappointed, because the whole of singapore wants to be ronaldinho... IN THEIR DREAMS!!! hahaha...

And at this store, some guy was trying on an Arsenal shirt. WOO~ bloody bandwagoner. Oh yeah, did I mention Arsenal just reached the Champion's League final? Sheesh. So if you have been eyeing the shirt for quite some time, better grab them fast while you can! And as I'm typing this, Chelsea just thrashed Man Utd 3-0 to retain their position as reigning champions. You know which shirt is gonna fly off the shelf next...

Sillyporeans, such a fickle lot. LOL.

NANI KORE?!

Reason no.1,607,289 why I hate my sister.

A closer look... Ewwww...

Sighhh... *shakes head*
Tell me honestly, you all see this you won't pek chek meh???
So dirty and untidy right?!
Lazy and bochup is an understatement!!!

Got nothing better to do lah!

Actually I added a new link on the right hand side column, together with the new poll I created out of boredom. So far only 1 vote, I think either no one bothered or never noticed in the first place. Well, now's your chance to insult me for the years of hatred I inflicted on you guys with my rubbish! Vote NOW! In the spirit of the upcoming General Elections 2006! Even though we all know what the outcome is, still must vote to reinforce that very fact!!! Just like this poll! MUAHAHAHA...

Actually hor, more importantly is publicize the new (well, not exactly new...) blog a few of us have created. Us, the crazy gang (not to be confused with Vinnie Jones and gang at Wimbledon FC) have grand aspirations to start an amateur film that will leave Eric Khoo eating our dust. Yes, we will aim to kick the incumbent director who claims the throne to local film industry, besides Jack Neo and his everydayman movies of course. Somebody say "Boring" please? *Yawwnzz*

We firmly believe we are one helluva funny bunch of people who have unexplored immense talent for acting - the stephen chow way. And we intend to take full advantage of our god given talent to create a masterpiece(s) that will blow the lid off Eric Khoo's roof! With the endless stream of silly antics from our fellow gang members: James "Bad english" Koh, and Doong "The family man" Shiwen... We are fcuken sure to make this an absolute hit with the man on the street! But chances may be that we are the only ones who will laughing at ourselves.

Besides that, I think our main focus will be to do a parody of the lives of ordinary sillyporeans like U and ME, and on issues that grapple with their not-so-happening lives by injecting kickass whambamwaddalalasham toilet humour that promises to spice up your boring life just by just watching our short films!

The project will be expected to hit periods of hot and cold, and no one is sure that we will eventually make it into a reality. But when it does, we will be more than willing to show the world!

Monetary donations or loans for filming equipments will be much appreciated in support of the "I Hate Luncheon Meat fund". Why that name? Cos' Glenn Ong once called Eric Khoo a piece of luncheon meat on the class 95 morning show and I laughed like a man possessed.

Readers, you have been warned!

Wacky Sunday Soccer

The sky didn't look alright to me when I woke up. It looked like its gonna open up, but thank god, it didn't. I couldn't stand another week without kicking a ball.

As usual, I brushed my teeth and shitted while reading the papers. When its all done, I put on my contact lenses and went off to pick the monkey up from his place. That idiot was still shitting when I reached his place, and apparently he hasn't shitted enough when he came down to meet me. So we arrived at our usual haunt with him looking for a place to relieve himself.

The monkey boy looked as if he's gonna go any minute now. He scrambled to the provision shop located 5 minute's walk away, and came back looking very agitated and desperate now. No such luck, not as good as the other provision shop uncle who kindly let us use his toilet to relieve ourselves. In return, we always buy drinks from him... fair trade loh. Want our business must let us do our "business" mah. Hahahaha.

Then someone suggested that the monkey boy, who was looking paler by the second to go to the little forest hideaway just up ahead. Even though there wasn't much cover, not many people would walk past this place, and at least it was better than nothing. He had to go and I could sense the desperation and cold sweats breaking all over his face. I thought that fella was only joking to James when he said that, but James himself would do the unthinkable and pull off the daring act of shitting in the public, potentially baring his ass and mooning the cars and motorbikes that zip past TPE that was located just beside this tiny forest hideaway. If I was a driver who happened to drive by and noticed someone shitting beside the expressway, I would have laughed my guts out and lose control of my vehicle. Man, that would be hella funny to watch.

Actually, we wanted to catch this little monkey in the act. Armed with our handphone cameras, a few of us flanked our target and before we could do anything, he had already pulled his pants up and covered his monkey shit with tissue papers and dead leaves. He was lightning fast, swift and decisive. Like a trained assassin, he did what he set out to do and left no trace behind (maybe the lingering smell of someone's poo). ALAS! Wasted sia!!!

But still, we laughed like hyenas and I think the peaceful sunday morning laze of some people living nearby were greatly disturbed by us. Oh, and I didn't dare touch the monkey's smelly hands afterwards, neither did others. He stinked!!!

Next up was Doong. This guy had just bought a new Samsung handphone and was constantly showing off his new toy. Haolian kia man. But me and Bob laughed like crazy horses when Black Eye Peas' song "Ma hump ma hump, ma hump ma hump maaa humppp!" blared loudly as the ringtone. Why we laugh? Good question. It is because it was totally unexpected coming from the boring and family man that was Doong the man. For someone who used to wear baby tees and dragon ball t-shirts in disastrously fashionable colors, it was damn farnie like mad. If I were to use an analogy, it would be like Saddam Hussein wearing oversize Adidas suits, complete with bling blings and dancing to hip hop music. You get it?! Hahaha...

Damn, what a wacky sunday it was...

Champions League Finals 2005

Still gives me goosebumps everytime I see this clip.
It has got to be the most amazing game ever, not to mention the mother of all comebacks. When a game like this is being played with such passion and conviction, it can reduce a grown up to a nervous wreck, like me back then when I was watching the game.

"You don't come all the way only to fall at the last hurdle." That was what I believe in, and that was what the Liverpool team thought too after being 3-0 down at half time. While lesser teams would have just caved in psychologically, Liverpool didn't. To me, that was the hallmark of a true winner.

It is my dream to be able to embark on a pilgrimage to the holy land in Anfield. To be able to touch and feel the turf grass which my heroes toil on throughout the years, and to soak up the fervour that engulfs the stadium, singing the theme song "You'll never walk alone" with fellow Kopites. Man, that would be plain awesome.

When will that day come soon enough for me... ...

The weekend gone by...

Now I know why they hired me for this job... because I look like a Japanese?!!!

What.the.fark? LOL.

Skipped soccer today to go for the qing ming festival. It has been 2 years since I last went to pay my respects to my ancestors, so I think it was high time. This time I was the appointed driver because my auntie say she not very zai with the congested road situation there. Well, she's definitely got the right guy in me! but damn! I cannot sleep in the car like previous years liao.

Anyway, we were supposed to get up around 4+ but ended up setting off only at around 6 becos of the downpour. The sun was already beating down on us when we reached the cemetery but the cool breeze whistling by continuously provided much relief. After we're done touching up the tombstones and laying out offerings to my great grandfather and great grandma, we proceed to the kwong meng san columbarium next to visit my grandfather and an auntie of mine.

Walking down the aisles and the rows of altars for the dead, I can't help but notice the faces and how some of them died so young while in their prime. I also bumped into the altar for the little girl that was thrown down by the ex-air stewardess, and the unfortunate female navy personnel which perished in a collision and whose body was never found.

Ah, how fragile life can be... ...