DUDE, WHERE'S MY BIKE??!


I glanced out of the window and for the first time I didn't see a single bike around at my carpark!!! Bah, what's the big hoo ha you might say? Precisely.. I'm making a big hoo ha outta nothing cos' I'm bored to the core studying for the exams...

Yeah, my house the carpark looks very dirrrty... but I've paid my conservancy bills leh... ???

FLESH 'N' SPLASH


my little angelitos...

I admit... sitting in front of the tv on weekday nights was never my cup of tea. But ever since channel 8 started showing the teen idol drama "The champion" or "任我遨游" which features lolitas ala Jeanette Aw, Felicia Chin, Fiona Xie *nose bleed...* and the hot china girl, Xiao Qiao *shiitt, someone get the tissue quick!!!* I've been glued to my sofa ever since. Not even revisions for exams can stop me from getting my 60mins kick out of watching them spew corny lines and the oh-so-predictable plot of how usual teen idol dramas would go... hahaha... C'mon! as the saying goes "酒翁之意不在於酒" you should know where the focus of the show will be at right? *hurhurhur* I must say the eye candy is more than enough to cover the paper thin plot, who cares about the plot anyway??! Just imagine Fiona Xie and the China hottie running down orchard road in bikinis... wooo!!! power lah brudda...

(PS: I'm not a 怪伯伯... muahahaha... )
(PSX2: I think my title rocks... flesh and splash... geddit???! wahahaha)

ENTER THE SANDMAN...

My arty farty friend just sent me this and I'm dumbstruck with awe, you guys just have to see THIS for yourself... freakin' shit, just how the hell did he do that?

Aiight, aiight its the time of the year again, what else could it be? exams lah... how boorrringg... nothing bores me more than studying man... but to console myself a lil' bit, this will be the 2nd last time I am EVER gonna sit for an exam in my entire life time (I hope) ... *yeahhh?* unless I intend to pursue my masters or Phds lah, and how much of a possibility do you think the chances of me EVER studying again are?! Wahaha... your guess is as good as mine...

After the last project was being dunked into the submission box last friday, I declared (as usual) for myself a well deserved holiday that stretched till yesterday before I finally started on my revision. And to think exams is only 2 weeks away... *Shiitt... PANIC!!!* eh wait... panic?? since when did the word even exists in my dictionary? Every time without fail, I would lapse into feeling that my 'hidden' intellect or 小聰明 would carry me through the trials and tribulations... To a certain extent it did, but for a large part it failed me terribly... I've come to learn (actually I knew that long ago) that no matter how smart a person is, if you never put in effort, then most probably you won't go far... And that's why I'm gonna stop right now, cos' its time to study again...

Discipline and Dilligence my friend... muahaha... find it hard to swallow that its coming from me? You better believe... As Sheryl Crow would sing, "A little change... change... would do you(me) good..." Gaahh... that was some corny shit... hehehe...

For those of you all who still don't believe that I actually completed the 21KM army half marathon, *hears yawning in the background* Click on the marathon website and download the Men's Open excel document. From there, scroll down to position 690 and *tada!* there you have it, KHOO KAH KIAT finishing in a time of 2:30:23 !!! awesome, fantastique, wunderbar!!!Hahaha... sorry lah, I'm too bored in school... nothing to write... maybe if I have the time later I'll post the picture of my medal for you all to see... hehehe...

Don't pray pray ok? I didn't DIE at the 21km Army Half Marathon, contrary to what some people out there might think... wahahaha... I completed in a respectable time of 2 hr 30 mins, taking into consideration I started late about 10 mins because I went to relieve myself and that my legs cramped up at the final 2 km... I could have finished in about 2 hours flat... and that will be my goal in next year's competition.

Such is the power of the human mind... if you somehow managed to force it into believing it is all possible, then most likely you're gonna achieve it (with plenty of grit and determination of cos'). Hey, ain't no easy feat man... run from esplanade to east coast, then back again via kallang en route to padang... come, who wanna try next year can jio me... *proud look* I see it as a personal achievement so that explains why I feel so proud of myself right now... hehehe...

Anyway, although the run was strenous, it was filled with funny sights along the way... i'm talking about the various water points set up by the various formations in the SAF... Let me see ah, we've got one smily idiot dressed up in a claymore mine(?!) suit, characters from Little Mermaid (think: Crab, prawns and turtles), as well as *gulp* pom pom boys in ridiculous oufits... wahahahaha... and ah, if you would have guessed by now, these people are the chao keng kias in the SAF... PES C, D, E, F... people who would do anything, I mean ANYTHING to get out of situations that requires them to move their fat and lazy asses... and that speaks volume about their mental strength as well... These are also the very people that you find familiar on that visit of yours to the CMPB when you had your medical checkup a few years back... same pattern one I tell you!!!

So whats the price to pay for all the efforts I've put in? Stiff joints, muscle aches everywhere... walking is difficult man... not to mention climbing stairs... but lucky i can still ride my phantom... pehhhpeeehhhpeeehhhhhh.... hehehe...

This is the shit I'll be getting myself into tomorrow morning... *gulp* I'm starting to regret signing up... wahaha... just click on the 21km route and see the marker move from esplanade to east coast park, then to national stadium and past kallang before finally hitting the end point at the padang... shucks, this is frightening man...

Working in at a bar has its perks... hot chicks, good music, live band, free food and drinks... man... what more could you ask for? Nothing like a ice cold beer to calm the frayed tempers from working under incompetent fools in the service industry... I'm sure bob and malau who were there with me last night could relate to... One of the managers is a dead ringer for Singapore Idol's Mr. "Careless Whisper"... I didn't notice until bob pointed it out to me... wahahaha... yeah simulate that hands to headphones pose like him... uh huh... yeah...

Anyway, mr careless whisper is such a complete idiot... I remember him coming to me with one of the order slip clearly labelled a table for (2) which I took, and the following conversation goes like this:


Mr careless whisper (CW): Who is Kenny?

Me: ahh... me...

CW: You took this order is it?

Me: Yah?

CW: Come, show me what is this?

Me: Uhh... an order slip?

CW: Why you write like this??

Me: You mean...?

CW: Why did you write an order for 21 dory fish?

Me (What the f***?!): No, I wrote 01 dory fish...

CW: Who teach you to write like this?

Me: No one... I wrote 01, NOT 21 dory fish...
(I wanted to say "Use your blaarddee brains!!! 2 people eat 21 dory fish??! You wanna show me or not???!")

CW (exasperated look): Next time don't write like this, just write 1 dory fish...

Me (shocked): Humm... okaayy??!

Ahh, you see... he mistaken the 0 I wrote as 2...but that's not the point... Common sense tells you that a table of 2 how can order 21 dory fish??? Wah piang oei... really bloody no brains one these people... tsk tsk... hahaha my colleagues who were standing near me just shook their heads and told me that he's like that one lah... Yah man, I thought... eternal PMS mode... but hell, thats the service industry for you... live with it or get outta it...

So, the 3 of us went for supper at geylang after that, you should've seen bob... he's such a slut... he was so wasted drinking free booze like there's no tomorrow and also talking crudely *looks behind shoulder* like nobody's business when we're eating at the kopitiam... wahahaha... mabo already sia...

NOOO!!!!! I JUST LEFT MY BIKE ON THE PAVEMENT IN FRONT OF CENTURY SQUARE FOR ONLY HALF AN HOUR AND I F***ING GOT A TICKET!?!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!! And did I mention that it burnt me a $70 hole in my pocket!?!?! wah piang eh... if you park (legally) without putting in the parking coupons, it only costs $8 leh... why so harsh... dun like that leh officer... pwease?? huh huh huh??

1 week to the army half marathon... dis' the first time i'm running a 21km competitive event... i don't aim to clock a fast timing... just as long as i survive by finishing within the stipulated time of 3 hours... that would be an achievement in itself... i didn't really had the time to run last week cos' of deadlines to meet and tests to study... really hectic week it has been... i slept only 3 to 4 hours for the past few days and had to wake up early next morning to school for more project meetings... darn exhausted i was but i still had the energy to play soccer this morning after working as a part time waiter till 2 the previous night... nothing like a game of footie with your buddies man... i was a klutz this morning cos' i bloody ram my foot into the concrete ground while attempting to hit the ball low... while it was not that serious as i thought to be, it still hurts man... wonder if i can run next week... i'm scared of my foot giving way while attempting to scale my own mountain everest in the marathon... that being said, i'm going for yet another visit to the chinese sinseh at bedok reservoir for more foot therapy... darn i really don't know how much beating can my seasoned legs take anymore...

My name's Kenny... Kenny Khoo Kah Kiat... hahaha... No i didn't changed my name... It was the first day on the job as a part time waiter, and to make it easier for people there to pronounce my name, I told them to just call me Kenny... instead of kar kate, ka keet or ka kiak... blah blah... they will just come up with many other strange pronounciations if i still go by my original name. No particular reason why i chose this name, it just came straight out of my mouth... maybe besides the fact that the name kenny happens to be from a character in southpark... Actually i should call myself the bastardly Cartman instead because i resembles him more... hahaha...

All dogs go to heaven, at least that's where I believe bobby is right now... poor bobby never got the chance to come inside the house cos' my dad don't like dogs... and he was sometimes at the receiving end of my dad's outbursts because of the incessant barking... not exactly the pampered pooch you see in paris hilton's chihuahua... he really led a dog's life... however gloomy the days might appear to bobby, there's always the few bright sparks in his life... namely me and my elder sister who has since married and NOT the evil younger biatch sister of mine... God knows what the color of her heart is... I believed the cuddles and walks around the neighbourhood meant a lot to bobby who was chained up most of the time... you could almost hear he was yelping in joy whenever we brought him out... And as with all living things, there comes a time when he has got to go where he needs to go... for a loong rest... bobby deserves nothing less... he had survived an operation where vets gave him a slim chance of pulling through and later when he had to go through another operation to stem the rot on his skin, we decided enough was enough... we couldn't bear to watch bobby suffer in pain anymore... he was put to sleep much to the heartbreak of me and my elder sister especially... perhaps I was still quite ignorant at that time but it dealt my sister a heavy blow who singlehandledly cared for bobby's everyday needs...

Come to think of it, it has been around 10 years since his demise, but I still look back with fondness the days with bobby around and some of my buddies who have been to my house can attest to, like how I had to swing out the metal grill for malau to climb and then swing in from the outside... hilarious cos' they had to get past the ferocious bobby who was guarding the front door...

So, everytime you visit my blog, take some time to play with the virtual dog whom I have affectionally named 'bobby' as a way of remembrance... Plus, the dog's so cute... All together now... "Awww..." Move your cursor around him, feed him, hear him bark all you want... Every dog needs a little tender loving care...

Ma' funky new shoes... my hush puppies have served me well thus far but I dun wanna spoil the leather from kicking my motorbike clutch too often, so I'm reserving the shoes for more formal occasions... That's why I bought this pair... Wait... damnit!!! it's leather also!!! wtf?! NOOooo... its only the 3rd day and there's already a scratch!!!!

Check this out... 想將你踢足球的技術突飛猛進嗎? 想學會少林真傳
<<鐵頭功>>, <<鐵布杉>>, <<水上漂>>, <<金剛腿>> 等妙技嗎? 不要再猶豫了... 請趕快到以下網址 http://www.shaolin.org.cn/html/index.html 修讀以及苦練多年... 將來是必定有成果的!!!

來!!! 大家一起跟我唱: " 少林武功好耶... ..."

This is absurd... an egg prata or plaster costs 20 to 30 cents more now just because the prices of eggs have increased by a few cents... bloody hell, this is a total cut throat man... you can slap me senseless with all the pratas but I won't budge an inch on it...

No... I'm kidding of cos'... why would I ever wanna deprive myself of such deliciously sinful treats?! What is supper without pratas you tell me?! Ask me don't eat pratas? You siao ah??!

Anyway, I'm listening to brit pop's latest offering... KEANE... smashin' stuff I say... their album rocks, whether they can continue their success and be placed among the ranks of bands such as oasis and blur, it remains to be seen... but I'm optimistic...